BEING OPEN

I met with a pastor of a church to see about the possibility of setting up a concert series in the next year.  In chatting, I found out that this pastor was in the middle of a divorce.  She seemed to be ‘ok’ with it because they had worked through their feelings about losing the marriage, and

the un-couple were still friends. 

As we were discussing the dating scene, I told her that I found my husband on the dating site, OK Cupid, and encouraged her to sign up after she had some time for herself to heal.  She was a little skeptical about the dating site angle of finding a mate, when I explained the concept to her of dating like a man. (see https://www.askthelovedame.com/post/date-like-a-man)  Her reason kind of threw me off a bit, coming from someone who deals quite a bit with the public and is in front of her congregation twice weekly.  She revealed to me that she was a closed person. 

Now, if you are a private person, that is quite different than being a closed person.  What’s the difference?  Well, if you don’t air your dirty laundry all over town, then you’re a private person.  If you’re on guard when you meet people, you are a closed person.  Being a private person is fine, but if you’re a closed person, you’re going to struggle to meet your love.

Being open means allowing yourself to be vulnerable.  Being vulnerable is actually a strength, although it might be considered a weakness.  It takes a powerful person to have the strength to be vulnerable.  When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you allow others to truly see the real you! 

What traits do you have to have to be vulnerable?  You have to love yourself.  Now, I know this sounds rather ‘woo woo’, but don’t knock the idea of loving yourself.  If you love yourself, then you are comfortable in your own shoes, and you come off as confident.  Confidence is very attractive to people.  Loving yourself also allows you to appreciate the special qualities that make you who you are.  When you appreciate those qualities, then others will notice them and appreciate them too.  It’s a win – win!