Date Like a Man

Do you ever wander how men date so many women at one time?  They can have dates with multiple women and not even think about it.  It’s normal for them.  They just want to have fun adventures and see which woman might fit into their lives. It’s almost as if they’re on a journey to find the perfect woman. 

Why don’t women date like that?  In general, women date one man at a time.  They reserve themselves for that one guy when he hasn’t earned it.  I’m sure you all read about my friend, PL in this blog:  https://www.askthelovedame.com/post/when-he-leaves-you-for-another-woman

After her husband left her for another woman, PL eventually began dating on the sites.  She is the perfect example of a woman only dating one man at a time.  She dated a pilot who was flakey in answering her texts, he would come in and out of town, expecting her to drop everything and see him.  I suggested to her to date other men, but she insisted that she was attracted to the pilot, and she could only date one at a time.  All other men didn’t meet the attraction level she felt toward the pilot.  Well, long story short, PL is still single and the pilot has flown the coup.

I would like to suggest that you think of dating in a new way.  Think of dating as ‘sorting’.  If you are choosing an outfit to wear, you might try different combinations of sweaters and skirts to see which outfit fits you perfectly.  Then why wouldn’t you do the same with men?  Just like you would inspect a sweater for its pattern, color, texture, how it feels on your skin and how good you feel in that sweater, the same should be for dating men.  In order to find the right fit, you need to date numerous men at the same time. 

In order to keep a clear head, stay away from his ‘head’.  Sleeping with a man before you’ve decided if he is right for you and fits into your world is a huge mistake.  Having sex binds you biologically to a man.  During an orgasm, oxytocin is released which binds a woman to the man emotionally.   When you have sex early in the relationship, you’re automatically tied to him.  You can’t help it.  It’s just biology.  This connection isn’t the same for him, however. He isn’t going to feel the same. I had a friend describe to me that when he wants a woman sexually, that’s all he can think of.  As soon as that orgasm happens, it’s as if a mask is lifted and he sees the woman in a different way.  He no longer has that drive to pursue her because she was too easily won.

When you are meeting a man for the first time, only meet him for a short date, such as a coffee or a glass of wine.  Don’t give him any more than one hour of your time.  You will know within an hour if you want to see him again for a real date.  Be yourself, be open and ask him questions about himself.  Think of this as a fun meeting with no pressure.  It’s better to keep him wanting more than to waste an entire night with someone who isn’t right for you.  Your time is precious. 

If you find that he doesn’t fit into your world and what you want, don’t spend any more time with him.  In fact, it’s a waste if you continue to spend your precious time with him, and this means that you’re not available for the potential man of your dreams.  Don’t use him as a ‘filler’ date to fill in your blank schedule.  If he’s not for you, then move on.  It’s not fair to him or you to string him along.

Make sure that you really enjoy the dates that you do go on.  Be open.  Have fun.  Be yourself.  Being authentic with a clear head is the only way that you can find your future mate.   Allowing him to feel safe enough to be open with you will tell you very quickly if he’s the one.