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Maybe you know her from work or the gym.  She’s just fresh out of a relationship and she’s ripe for the picking.  You want to go for it and ask her out before she gets taken by another man.  STOP.  You’re not going to swoop in and rescue her heart.  You’re going to be the rebound guy.   When women first come out of a relationship, thy need time to heal.  They go out with their girlfriends, go on random dates and even take trips they’ve been wanting to take.  They get it out o

I met with a pastor of a church to see about the possibility of setting up a concert series in the next year.  In chatting, I found out that this pastor was in the middle of a divorce.  She seemed to be ‘ok’ with it because they had worked through their feelings about losing the marriage, and the un-couple were still friends.    As we were discussing the dating scene, I told her that I found my husband on the dating site, OK Cupid, and encouraged her to sign up after she had

Have you ever been around someone you really liked, but he or she had bad breath?  That’s such a let down.  You really want to kiss them, but are turned off by the smell.  You want to see their face light up with a smile, but cringe when they do.  A smile is such an important expression of happiness, fun, joy and overall well - being that when yours is unsightly, it can really affect how people perceive you.    When I was in college, we used to go to a particular bar with a v

Do you ever wander how men date so many women at one time?  They can have dates with multiple women and not even think about it.  It’s normal for them.  They just want to have fun adventures and see which woman might fit into their lives. It’s almost as if they’re on a journey to find the perfect woman.    Why don’t women date like that?  In general, women date one man at a time.  They reserve themselves for that one guy when he hasn’t earned it.  I’m sure you all read about

In my dating years, I made the same mistakes over and over again.  I would date the same kind of guys, and expect something different to come out of it. I dated the jock / gym types that had nice physiques, but not a whole lot going for them as far as love, kindness and a giving personality.  It was all about them, and I turned myself into a pretzel to make them happy.  It didn’t work because what I failed to realize is that I couldn’t make them happy when they hated themselv

Have you ever seen a couple that surprised you?  Maybe he was looking like a gorgeous ‘Superman’ and she was ‘Hmpf’.  What attracted that gorgeous man to that so – so lady?  Confidence.    Confidence is the single most attractive thing to a man.  It can take a woman who is a 6 and bump her up to a 9++ in a man’s eyes.  This should be a big lesson to all of my ladies.  You don’t have to be a size 2 with flawless skin and a wardrobe to die for.  You can dress yourself in confid

Have you heard the saying “Actions speak louder than words”?  Well, when it comes to men, no words can be more true.  Men are very good at making promises, but his actions will tell you what he really wants.  Let me give you a couple of examples.    My friend, Suze, has been seeing this guy.  You all read about Suze in another blog:  https://www.askthelovedame.com/post/when-your-husband-finds-someone-else Anyway, Suze has been dating a guy who lives 3 hours away from her.  Fo

There are countless reasons why women need to leave their husbands.  Cheating is a common one. Whatever your reason, don’t do anything on impulse.  This needs to be planned and well prepared.  This decision takes patience and precision.  Be smart about it, and don’t act on a whim.  If you fail to plan, you can plan to fail.    Here are some tips to make it easier for you to reach your goal of dumping your cheating husband.  Remember….PLANING & PATIENCE!!!   TIP #1 BE PATIENT!

First of all, I want to acknowledge that men generally don’t break up with women.  They are very good at putting their heads down and sticking it out.  They generally stay until they have no reason to – i.e. new job, opportunity to move, new lover.    If you’re in any kind of serious relationship, I encourage you to seek counseling first before you just cut it off, unless there is some sort of abuse.  I personally believe that abusers can’t be fixed, and it’s not worth riskin

Ladies, I hope that you will listen to what I’m going to tell you because I’ve been there.  We work so hard to reach our goals for our lives, our kids, and our homes that we forget to be kind to ourselves.  What does this even look like?  It can take on many forms, and I will name a few here.  But first, I want to remind you that when you love yourself enough to be kind to yourself, it makes you more inclined to be kind to the man (or men) you’re dating.  When we don’t feel o

Men…Don’t blow your wad.  Now don’t get dirty on me – not THAT wad….the wad of cash in your wallet.  When you want to meet a girl for the first time, don’t go on an expensive date to try to impress her.  Meet her for coffee or a glass of wine and get to know her.  Ask her questions about herself, and see how you can envision her fitting into your life.    My clueless cousin is forever trying to impress a woman.  He gets fixated on a woman who writes him back on a dating site,

Do you remember that song that started out, “What have you done for me lately?”.  This describes perfectly how to get what you want.  It’s so simple.  If you want something, you have to give something.  But what do women want?  To most men, this is a mystery.  But in reality, it’s so simple.    Women want romance.  When our man is romantic, it makes us feel special.  It makes us feel like we are the only one in the world.  Many men don’t really know how to be romantic.  They

Are you and your partner struggling with what I call the ‘Sex Schedule’?  You want it on Wednesday, but he’s tired from work.  Or he wants it as you’re running out the door for girls’ night.   Why can’t life be simple enough to just get down and dirty when our bodies say it’s time?  Well, we don’t always run on the same sex schedule, so that can make it a little more complicated.  Here are some tips to rev him up when you’re feeling like some sexy time, and you’re not sure if

You love your kids, but aren’t in a rush to introduce them to anybody.  That’s fair.  However, the fact that you have them shouldn’t be a secret.  You should put that on your profile and be honest about them.  You are a package deal and this should be clear to any potential mate.  This will weed out the people who are not interested in dating someone with kids.    You have to think of dating as a ‘sorting’ process, like doing laundry.  You don’t just throw it in the washer wi

Is your guy feeling a little blue about how he looks?  We don’t really think about a man’s self -esteem because the media really only shows these hugely muscular men with their bulging arm wrapped around some gorgeous, slender woman.   But in reality, men have surprisingly delicate egos, and can actually feel bad about themselves if things are not exactly going their way.  How do you help to make him feel better about himself to give him a little boost?  Here are a few tips.

Have you heard the rumor that African American women don’t give blow jobs?  I can tell you from what my friend, A, says, that’s not true.  But there are stipulations.   Let me quote my friend, A, “It’s gotta be washed down there, now.  I’m not gonna put that dirty, smelly thing in my mouth.  Uh Uh (shaking her head).  He needs to be CLEAN!”  Well, I guess that sums it up.  Those rumors were wrong.    So what if he wants a BJ and you don’t feel like it?  Well, let’s turn this

I have a friend – let’s call her PL.  PL is from a very different culture, China.  When she got to the U.S., PL wanted to find a husband and have children, and that’s exactly what she did.  She devoted her entire life to her family.  She took care of her two beautiful daughters, cooked, cleaned, and focused all of her energy on doing what a wife is supposed to do.  She was happy enough….until…..he wanted a DIVORCE.  She was shocked because she didn’t know any Chinese people w

I have a cousin, let’s call him Brent.  Brent is a really nice guy, but he’s so desperate for love that you can smell it on him.  Seriously, using way too much cologne is a cry for help, but I digress.  Now Brent has been through a LOT!  He married (and divorced) a stripper turned Madam turned 911 operator.  After his divorce, he and his 2 kids moved in with his mom and he went to school to be a Surgical Tech.  He got a wonderful job and met his next ex - wife, a doctor that

Do you ever hit a wall when you’re trying to communicate with your man?  Why is it that men don’t seem to be able to really hear   and understand   what we’re saying to them?   They just seem to understand what they want to hear, rather than what you’re actually telling them.    Well, the fact is that women and men communicate differently, and I would like to share how to actually get heard and understood by your man.  Here are some quick tips to better your communication.  

I have a friend- let’s call her Suze.  Suze had a cushy little life.  She was married to a very successful roofer who had his own business.  She was a teacher by profession, but her husband provided all the goods – big house, nice things, vacations.  Well, one day Suze found out that he had a girlfriend and had been lying to her for YEARS – like 10 years!  It was devastating.  He went to church and played all the right roles, but in reality, he was a phony and a liar.  She wa