What Attracts Men

Have you ever seen a couple that surprised you?  Maybe he was looking like a gorgeous ‘Superman’ and she was ‘Hmpf’.  What attracted that gorgeous man to that so – so lady?  Confidence. 

Confidence is the single most attractive thing to a man.  It can take a woman who is a 6 and bump her up to a 9++ in a man’s eyes.  This should be a big lesson to all of my ladies.  You don’t have to be a size 2 with flawless skin and a wardrobe to die for.  You can dress yourself in confidence, and he will be hooked. 

What makes some women oozing with confidence and others not so much?  It’s your self - talk.  Have you ever heard the voices in your head telling you negative things like, “Don’t embarrass yourself”, “He would never be interested in you”, “My ass looks too big in these jeans”, “I’m not ___________ enough”?  This is negative self - talk, and it’s very destructive for your confidence and self - esteem.  This destructive behavior can keep you from achieving your dreams and keep you from the love you deserve.  But how do you get rid of this negative self - talk? 

There are many things you can do to boost your confidence and change how your voices speak in your mind.  It just takes a little work, but luckily, the work is energizing and fun, and you will see immediate results!

Steps to Confidence:

1.      Being thankful:  Being thankful acknowledges what you have in your life, and gives you the opportunity to appreciate.  When you appreciate what you currently have, you open yourself up for more blessings.  You can thank God / Universe / Nature or whatever you believe in for your health, your strength, your family, friends, etc.  There are endless things to be thankful for.  When you take a moment to be thankful, then your heart opens up to joy.  Joy is very attractive and radiates confidence.

2.     Affirmations:  There is a funny skit on Saturday Night Live called “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley”.  He begins the skit with looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, dog gone it, people like me.”  This is poking fun at an actually powerful practice.  Positive affirmations said with energy and conviction, move your desires into the subconscious and begin to work to draw your desires to you.  I personally love to do these affirmations while I’m on a power walk or bike ride.  Yes, I’m talking to myself aloud, and no, I don’t give a damn who hears me.  It makes me feel really great to acknowledge my qualities that I have and wish to have, and gets my day going with a blast of confidence!

3.     Get Moving: When you move your body, you feel sooo good!!!  It doesn’t matter if it’s a walk, bike ride or hitting the gym, endorphins will be released when you move your body.  This automatically puts you in a more positive and energetic state, helping you to ooze with confidence. Make sure it’s an activity you enjoy so you stay consistent. 

4.     Journal:  When you journal, you have an opportunity to script anything that you wish on paper.  You can release negative thoughts, create dreams, write your blessings and goals – just anything at all! Journaling allows you to get those things in writing, and this puts them out into the world.  This gives your life more of a picture, and this picture can look like what you create in your journal.  It gives you a sense of having a plan and a goal for your life.  This will create the confidence you need to go after what you want, and that is very attractive to a man.

5.     Have your own ‘thing’:  Having your own ‘thing’ that you enjoy doing and you’re good at, builds confidence.   You do it weekly, with a group of people, and you don’t give up this time for anyone, especially not for a man.  When you have your own ‘thing’ that he’s not a part of, he finds that very attractive because you’re not dependent on him for all of your pleasure.  You can enjoy other things without him.  This shows a great deal of confidence, and is very attractive.

6.     Speak in a direct manner:  When women speak directly to a man, rather than talking in circles, this screams confidence.  Men really aren’t used to women being direct.  They are used to having to figure out what we are saying.  When you speak directly and openly to a man, it really just throws him off and captures him.  He suddenly finds you ‘mysterious’, when, in fact, you’re just being forthright.  Tell him exactly what you think and exactly what you want, and all he will see is a confident woman.