Blow, Blow, Thy Wintry Wind

Have you heard the rumor that African American women don’t give blow jobs?  I can tell you from what my friend, A, says, that’s not true.  But there are stipulations.   Let me quote my friend, A, “It’s gotta be washed down there, now.  I’m not gonna put that dirty, smelly thing in my mouth.  Uh Uh (shaking her head).  He needs to be CLEAN!”  Well, I guess that sums it up.  Those rumors were wrong. 

So what if he wants a BJ and you don’t feel like it?  Well, let’s turn this around.  What if you want oral and he doesn’t feel like it?  You don’t really care that he doesn’t feel like it because you have done his laundry, cleaned the house, cooked him dinner and he needs to do it anyway.  Or maybe you haven’t done any of those things, and you feel like you just want some pleasure.  That’s fair.  That’s what a relationship is – giving and giving back. 

Some women have the ‘once a year’ rule on his birthday.  Don’t be that woman.  Listen.  If your man is a good man – goes to work, carries your heavy bags, helps with the dishes or cooking, tells you you’re beautiful, gives you affection, for goodness sake, give that man a BJ!!  He’s NOT the only one benefitting.  Trust me.  If he knows there’s even a remote possibility that he might get a BJ, he will find nice things to do for you – sometimes you won’t even know that you need those things done.  BJs up the ante.  Put that tool in your pocket, and you will have a happy relationship. 

I’ve asked some friends that refuse to give their partners a BJ, and here’s what they had to say:

“Oooo!  I have a small mouth.  It makes me choke.”

“I can’t swallow that.  Oh, God no.”

“There’s just too much hair.”

Now, if you’re a guy that doesn’t clean himself up and has long pubes all over your crotch, then that’s your own fault.  Learn how to manscape.  But if you’re one of those kind of women that give those sorry excuses, you need to suck it up (pun intended) and give your man a BJ.